What other people think of you *REALLY* doesn’t matter in any impactful way, even if those other peo
So, your brother thinks you’re flighty? Your neighbors think you’re too loud? Your dad doesn’t approve of your job? Your sister thinks your spouse is a bore? You may have offended someone who means a lot to your mom?
What do YOU think? Yes, what do you think of yourself?
If you are about to tell me that you think of yourself as the most amazing person on earth, I’m here to call BS! If you are about to tell me that you don’t care at all about what others think, I’m going to call it again! We do tend to care about what people think, especially when we feel a level of guilt about whatever it is that we “know” they are talking about.
Sometimes it is a big thing - I have quite a few friends who have chosen a new religion, my husband included, and their families, parents in particular, have had some pretty extreme reactions to it. Rather than seeing the way that their children are newly excited about the world, they feel rejected and abandoned, and oh boy do we hear about it….
Other people’s opinions of us can have a powerful impact on how we view ourselves. How we view ourselves has a lot to do with the way we interact in the world. How we interact in the world has ramifications that span every aspect of our lives. Imagine that one nasty judgement from mom can have ripples that reach into business, personal, and social lives.
Unless it doesn’t have to have that power.
What what what?!?!? Later, I’m going to be writing a post about how self-awareness is a trap, but for now, a little awareness of self can be a life saver!
Who ARE you? What do you DO in the world? Not for A living, but for THE living? How do you treat people? Are you fair in your dealings with others? Are you always looking to get over on others? Are you kind hearted or do you seek out negativity and capitalize on suffering?
Are the judgements made by others valid for YOU? Yes, it may make your mother sad to think that you’ve become someone she doesn’t recognize, but perhaps this version of you is more healthy, more strong, more at peace, more free… Is it your responsibility to live your life for your mother’s values or is it your responsibility to live your life in alignment with your own? You are the only one who can answer these questions. But maybe we should start with something easier:
ASK this question first: How can I minimize the impact of other people’s opinions on my life?
ASK this question next: How can I be at peace with the wonderful person that I am inside regardless of what others think?
This isn’t going to change what other people think. And unless the person who doesn’t think well of you is your boss and that boss is about to fire you, it really is impossible to change what others are thinking, especially if you feel bad about what shifted their thinking of you in the first place.
My dad used to tell me that living a good life was a great way to get revenge on people who want to take us down. It’s extreme, but there are parts of it that resonate -- when we live a good life, when we KNOW that we are driven by goodness and love, when we feel confident setting boundaries, when we shrug off the “should haves” and thrive our own ways, others have no choice but to recognize it.
And the more you love yourself and continue to create the life that you want, the less other people’s opinions matter, whether they are positive or negative! The more you show your beauty, the more beauty you will attract, in every way.
Try this for a week, everyday, write these questions in your bathroom so that every time you go in there you read them, and let me know what happens at the end of the week.
Send me that info here: Liz@DitchTheDx.com